Volume 1.38: Shouldn't Be A Good In Goodbye

Type: Series
Genre: Urban Fantasy

Rating: M

Characters:  Emme, Sonja, Rachel, Rudi
Word Count: 2939

Glossary: Namaste-Hindu salutation/greeting/valediction

Warning: unusually long

This is the bad before the worse.

This is the storm before the storm

I haven't even hit the bottom of this ocean floor

This is the bend before the break

This is the mercy not the grace

This is proof and not the faith i try to find...

There shouldn't be a good in goodbye-Jason Walker

It was early dawn  but it was still dark outside, and Rachel jumped at the slightest of noises as they hurried through the woods.

Rudolf’s hand tightened around her waist. “It’s okay, I’m here,” he whispered.

Rachel looked at him, and flashed him a brief smile, she was trying so hard to pretend she was okay, but he could see right through it, he could see right through her pain, and once again he was filled with feelings of helplessness and shame.

He couldn’t protect her, one vampire he would have handled easily, but there were six of them. “It’s no excuse,” he fumed inwardly.

Rachel squeezed his hand, and shook her head. She could read him like a book.

“It wasn’t your fault, there were six of them, and you couldn’t be in two places at once.”

“I know, but I promised to protect you, and I failed you!” The harshness in his voice stopped Sonja short.

She wanted to hold them both and comfort them, she loved both of them like her own, she’d practically had a hand in raising them, and seeing them so confused and hurting from trying to protect her own daughter was too much.

She was almost reaching out to Rudi, ready to engulf him in her arms, when she saw the slightest hint of rejection as he recoiled from her.

Rachel gasped at his abruptness, but Sonja shook her head. She understood that he wasn’t repulsed by her gesture, he was just mad at himself; he didn’t think he deserved to be comforted.

His guilt made her sad, it was clearly misplaced.

“I didn’t get a chance to thank you both, for what you did for Cadence,  you were very, very brave, and she’s so lucky to have you for friends,” she told them as they began walking again, she wished she had more to offer, but right now her gratitude was all she had.

“She’ll be back, I know Emme will help us, and then we can get her daddy out. Cade will be so happy!” Rachel’s beautiful smile, the same one Sonja loved so much because it lit up an entire room, was clouded by tears now.

“Rachel, when the time comes, I need you and Cadence and Rudolf to get the hell out of Twinbrook, promise me you’ll take Cade and run. I don’t care where you go, just get the hell out of Twinbrook,” Sonja stopped walking suddenly; she clutched at Rachel’s hands and held on tightly, not willing to let go until she had a promise from her.

Rachel though shook her head. “No, I know Cade won’t run. She’ll want to help her father, you need three witches at the very least, and you and Willow won’t be able to break the seal.”

“We are not running,” Rudi piped in. “I don’t know half the things that happened back then, but Cadence needs her father, it’s all she’s ever wanted and now’s our chance to help her.”

“But the coven and your pack won’t let you, they’ll disown both of you when they find out,” Sonja tried to reason with them, she could see the ending, it was messy, and she didn’t want any of it for them.

“Don’t worry about the pack, their bite is no worse than their bark where I’m concerned,” Rudi gave her a reassuring smile, and Sonja’s heart broke anew at how naive he is.

________

It was still dark when they reached Emme's tree house. For a moment all Sonja could do was stare at the darkness beyond the windows. Emme was obviously still sleeping and she felt bad for what she was about to do. A light sleeper herself there was nothing she hated more than breaking someone else's sleep. But she had no choice; Cadence's life depended on Emme.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel’s words pulled Sonja out her indecisiveness; she gave the younger woman a small smile.

"Yeah, everything is okay," she lied as she took a step forward. She had a feeling winning Emme over wasn’t going to be easy.

She rapped lightly on the door. Her knock went unanswered for a few moments. Rudi sighed impatiently behind her, and out of the corner of her eye Sonja saw Rachel rub sleep from her eyes, she was obviously tired, not surprising since she’d hardly slept since Cadence’s accident.

"What's taking her so long?" Rudi barked as he sidestepped her, getting ready to slam his fists on Emme's door.

But Emme beat him to it. The door swung open, and a soothing light shone from beyond, it cast soft shadows on Emme's face, subtly adding to her ethereal aura.

It took Sonja a moment or so to realize the light came from Emme's wings. She'd never seen them before. They were...magnificent.

"You look like you've seem a ghost," Emme noted as she beckoned at them to enter the house.

"No, not a ghost, just your wings," Sonja replied, her eyes still glued to the light on Emme's back.

"I thought elves don't have wings!" Rachel sounded as awestruck as Sonja felt.

"There's a lot you don't know about my race, young witch," Emme replied.

Before either of them could quiz her further, Emme suddenly transformed into a sprite. She zigzagged around the room, hovering erratically around Rachel’s head.

The young witch tried to catch her, and each time she thought she had her safely in her hand Emme would fly away, leaving behind a trail of pixie dust.

Sonja and Rudi looked on delightedly; they'd never seen this side to Emme. She was always so broody. It was heartwarming to see she could be playful too.

"What can I do for you?" Emme abruptly put an end to her show as she took on her physical form again. She sounded serious suddenly, all the playfulness was gone. She was back to being Emme, the dance instructor, Cadence's teacher.

"It's Cadence. She's in trouble and we need your help-” The whole time Sonja was explaining the situation with Cadence and Ethan, she watched Emme carefully for any sign, any hint at all that the elf was leaning on their side. But Emme's face remained impassive; the look in her eyes gave nothing away.

"Will you help us?" Sonja asked after a brief period of silence.

"Do you have any idea what you're asking me to do?" Emme ignored her question and held her gaze.

"I wouldn't ask if I had any other options," Sonja wrung her hands on her lap.

"You're asking me to betray your coven, and deceive Ethan! That's suicide!" Emme cried, a small frown played across her forehead.

"It's for Cadence. Please! I would-" Before Sonja could finish her plea, Rudi cut in.

"How much? How much will it take for you to duplicate the star?" He demanded as he placed himself on front of Emme. It was obvious he was losing his patience very fast.

"Don't insult me, little wolf!" Emme hissed back at Rudi, her cheeks flaming furiously.

"I think we all need to calm down," Rachel's soft voice pulled them away from their looming battle.

"I think you need to leave," Emme suggested in a much softer tone. But her eyes, still glued on Rudi, were hard like stones.

Sonja's eyes widened, expressing her sudden bewilderment. She opened her mouth to apologize and beg Emme to change her mind, but the elf silenced her with her hand and showed them the door.

"Get out. I will not be insulted in my own home!"

"He didn't mean it, Emme!" Rachel offered.

Emme though, wouldn’t have any of it, "Don't make me throw you out!"

The threat in her voice was enough to send them all scurrying to the door. They didn't know much about her magic, but they sure as hell didn't want to be on the receiving end of her wrath.

Just as they reached the door, Emme stopped them. "Sonja, you can stay."

Sonja said a small prayer of thanks then, feeling very grateful that Cadence's teacher had changed her mind.

Emme turned to Rachel, “take him home, and calm him down. He can't go into battle in the state he's in."

Rachel nodded and smiled. Rudi mumbled something. It sounded like an apology.  Emme accepted it with the wave of her hand as she ushered them away and closed the door behind them.

"Where were we?" She clasped her hands and regarded Sonja from beneath her long lashes before she went to the stove to get the kettle going.

"He didn't mean anything, Emme, he's young and impulsive." From the way the two had parted, it was obvious Emme wished to forget the incident with Rudi, but Sonja felt she should apologize and clear the air anyway.

"He has a temper, like his father, it will get him in trouble someday," Emme noted as she led Sonja back to the living room, there was a wistful look in her eyes and a longing in her voice Sonja couldn’t miss.

“I’m not angry with him for what he said. I just had to get him out of here," Emme carried on.

Sonja wished she'd stop. She didn't want to know, didn't want to confirm what she and the rest of the town had suspected.

But Emme wouldn't drop it. She wouldn't let it go. Maybe she was just lonely or feeling vulnerable, or maybe she was just tired of carrying the weight of her secret on her own. Whatever it was, as unclear as it was, she seemed determined to lay it all out for her.

"Don't do this," Sonja begged her. She didn’t come for this. She just wanted the fake Star and nothing else.

"You shouldn't have brought him here!" Emme retorted.

"I didn't know!" Sonja shook her head.

"Spare me the denials Sonja. The whole town suspected Romulus is Fae's father!"

"Is he?" Sonja yelled back. The second her words were out she wanted to take them back. It's one thing to suspect. But knowing is something entirely different. Something she wasn't ready for.

"Yes!"

With that one word, Sonja could see Luann's world come crashing down.

Reading the panic in her eyes Emme quickly put her at ease, "Don't worry, Luann knows. They both know."

"When? How? Why?" Suddenly Sonja wanted to know the whole truth.

The kettle hissed on the stove, stealing Emme's attention.

Sonja watched her get up from her seat and go about the mundane task of making tea.

"How do you take it?" Emme looked up from the cups on the table.

"Black, two spoons of sugar," Sonja ran a tired hand through her hair.

"I have something better than sugar," Emme sprinkled pixie dust in both cups, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

"You can do that?" Sonja was amazed, there was so much she didn't know about Emme and her powers, so much she wished she could have known about the other woman.

"Don't tell anyone," Emme warned her playfully as she handed her the cup.

The smell of apples and cinnamon teased Sonja’s nostrils, seducing her into taking her first sip. The warm brown liquid tasted divine and she moaned blissfully.

"I told you, it's better than sugar," Emme gloated.

They eased onto the chairs around the dining table and drank their teas as they watched the fingers of dawn paint a pretty picture beyond Emme's window, the stream below sang a soothing song, and just for a little while Sonja believed in the lie of a new day, that everything would be okay.

"They fought that night," Emme promptly shattered her illusion as she picked up the threads of their conversation.

"What was it about?" Sonja asked.

"What it was always about. Rom wanted more, Luann couldn't give him more. You know how volatile they are together. And you know how ugly their fights get!"

Sonja nodded. She knew alright. Luann was stubborn through and through. And Romulus was...passionate. Yes passionate was the only word Sonja could think of.

"Rom wanted kids, and your sister didn't want to settle down. She was too caught up in being a priestess and running the most powerful coven this side of Twinbrook. The fight ended like it always did, with Rom walking away. I was in the woods picking flowers when he ran into me. I could see he was distraught and I couldn't leave him there. Not like that.”

"So you invited him home," Sonja finished off for her.

"We didn't mean to, it was wrong. But he was hurting and I just wanted to comfort him." Emme spoke again after a short pause.

Sonja didn't know what to say so she said nothing and nodded at Emme to carry on.

"It will sound weird, I know, but I never thought of Rom in that way, never saw him in that light before. But that night I fell in love with him."

"And you haven't stopped loving him," Sonja stated the obvious.

“You must think I’m a fool.” Emme laughed bitterly before she quickly brushed away her tears with the back of her hand.

“No,” Sonja shook her head. “I think it was unfortunate. But you got something good out of it. You had Fae.”

“Only to lose her!” Emme sounded so bitter now, and Sonja didn’t know how to comfort her. It’s one thing to lose a spouse or a lover. But a child…she couldn’t imagine ever losing Cadence.

“As soon as I realized I was expecting, I came clean with both Luann and Rom. He wanted to take responsibility for Fae. But he wouldn’t leave Luann. Not that I expected him to. He loves her.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Sonja asked.

“I didn’t want Fae to know. I didn’t want her to grow up with the stigma of being a love child, a result of my moment of weakness!” Emme explained.

“Did Rom…when Fae died. Did you ever talk about it?”

Emme shook her head. “No. Rom took care of us financially. But he was never a part of Fae’s life. Luann wouldn’t let him. He felt guilty for betraying her, and I felt just as bad, so as much as I needed him, I thought not having him around was my penance.”

“But Fae deserved to know her father,” Sonja was fuming now. She always knew her sister could be impossible. But to go as far as deny a little girl a chance to know her father was just wrong…But then again, she couldn’t say she was surprised, Luann had denied Cadence that same chance when she locked Warrick away.

They slipped into a pained silence. It seemed Emme had said all she was going to say about her daughter and Romulus.

Sonja set her mug on the table and took Emme’s hands to comfort her. For a long time only the elf’s sobs broke the silence. 

“I’m so sorry,” Sonja kept saying over and over, but she knew how trite and meaningless her words were, nothing would ever take away Emme’s heartbreak. Losing her child was bad enough; she shouldn't have had to grieve alone too.

“No more tears,” Emme broke their contact. She got up from her seat and held out her hand.

Sonja stared at her blankly for a moment before she realized what she wanted. Wordlessly she searched the pockets on her skirt for the satin pouch.

“Thank you,” she mumbled as she handed the Star to Emme.

“Don’t thank me just yet. It’s been a while since I’ve had to conjure anything.” The elf told her before she vanished upstairs, presumably to her spirit room.

Sonja tried to stay put, but the silence was unbearable. She got up and paced the small living room; she’d stop occasionally to stare at the trinkets and pictures of Emme and Fae on the walls and end tables. 

She picked up one of the framed pictures and held it up in the weak light, she could see now why it was easy for everyone to suspect Romulus was Fae's father; her coloring was Emme's, but her facial features were all Rom’s. 

“Beautiful wasn’t she?” Emme’s voice from behind her pulled Sonja away from the past.

“She was,” she affirmed as she gently placed the picture back in its place.

“It’s done,” Emme announced as she handed her the two Stars, the original was safely in its pouch.

“It looks so real,” Sonja marveled at the duplicate Star.

“It is real. The only thing missing is its magic source. Sadly, that I couldn’t duplicate it, no matter how much I wanted to,” Emme told her.

“Thank you,” Sonja took her hands and squeezed them.

“I imagine this is the last time I see you?” Emme tilted her head to the side and smiled a little.

Sonja nodded and brushed away her tears, “for a little while at least.”

“Namaste,” Emme bowed her head then, and brought her hands down in front of her heart.

Sonja emulated the gesture, and as an afterthought she added, “What does it mean?”

“It has many meanings, but right now I simply honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace”

It was such a powerful statement and Sonja took a moment to reflect on it. Feeling humbled by Emme’s grace she bowed her head again and brought her hands in front of her heart. “Namaste.”

________

Credits: Emme's treehouse was built by Karima, I just had the easy task of furnishing it up. Thank you Karima for all your hard work.